How Long Have You Been Married? (and what’s your "secret")

So, how long have you people been married? What is your "secret" for a good marriage?

My husband and I just reached 7 years last week. I think for us there have been several things that played into it. We got married very young (we were nineteen) and so we've kind of grown up together. We were also good friends before we started dating. The result is that we have a lot of common ground to fall back on and we love talking to each other. Lastly, we work very hard at our marriage. We are constantly trying to figure out how to improve our relationship, to understand how the other is feeling, etc and to make changes when necessary. When we get in a fight we make up quickly and don't let it drag on for days at a time.

I know we don't have it all figured out, but I'm feeling pretty good about our marriage and know that it will last.

About 9.5 years now.
The key is communication. You have to communicate your feelings and give your spouse the benefit of knowing how you feel about things. They may not be able to do anything about it but at least they'll know what's going on with you.
Laughing is another BIG one.
If you and your spouse can laugh together and still have fun together, it's all good

Very true! If we couldn't laugh together I don't know where we'd be! Communication is definitely important too. We do a lot of communicating (sometimes more than he would like! LOL).

10 years.

It took me about 8 years, but I've finally learned that when my wife is expressing negative feelings, it's not necessarily because she is mad at me. She is usually just tired or anxious about something. So I try not to take things personally.

So true Jerome! I think my husband has figured that out as well. Why can't a woman be more like a man, huh?

My husband and I have been married for 14 years. I agree that communication is the key to having a happy marriage. You need to be able to talk to each other and to be supportive of one another. I think it is also important to not "sweat the small stuff" in a marriage. Look at the big picture and make sure that you are in agreement on those issues such as child raising, finances, morals, religion etc. Many of the day to day issues don't matter as much and you can agree to disagree as long as the core values in your marriage are solid.

Take time to laugh with each other. It is amazing what a bonding experience a good laugh can produce. You feel closer to each other and the stress of the day seems to slide away.

5 years here....

I agree that communication is key. We talk about our feelings and if something is bothering us, we let the other person know. And while being parents is very important to us, we try to make time for just us too.

We have been married almost 9 years.

We try to communicate as much as possible and NEVER go to bed angry.

We've been married 4.5 years and lived together for 3 years before that. Communication definitely is key. We also are very compatible with strengths & weaknesses, which I think helps when choosing a partner. Another thing I see missing in a lot of families is that we share the same life goals and support each other's individual goals (careers, for example), which means we're always coming from the same place and makes compromise easier.

I've been married to the same man for 16.5 years. It helped that we both shared the same things in common before we got married; that we wanted to be dedicated to marriage, we wanted to raise our kids the same way, etc. We work together on everything from bill paying to changing diapers. You become partners, best friends, lovers, caregivers, and parents together so it's a great idea to always strive to be better everyday.

You will never agree 100% of the time and that's okay. You don't have to. When we don't agree we always say, "okay, we agree to disagree" and that's it. That's when we learn to compromise.

Life is exciting when you get to share it with someone you love.