Snapshots That Stay: Making Memories With Your Children

There was a time when I was into scrapbooking. You know, the old-fashioned paper kind with special scissors, glue sticks, and cute little cutouts. As each day passes, the unscrapped pictures (buried in a dust-covered box under my bed) remain unclipped, never to rest on a crisp piece of carefully designed paper. With the digital age upon us, and most of my recent photos stored on hard drives and memory cards, I’ve begun a fresh form of scrapbooking. No, it’s not digital: it’s far less technical. Those snapshots are now secured in a safer place: my heart.

Scrapped in the pages of my mind (somewhere between the ‘historic’ events of life: my wedding, Christmases past, birthdays and anniversaries) are the newly permanent etchings: for example, the afternoon my daughter bit into an apple for the first time. Her face crinkled up at the sweet yet sour taste as we cuddled in the rocking chair, and I watched the sticky apple juice dribble down her dimpled chin and onto my fingers. I turn another page of my memory’s scrapbook and cherish the morning we sat at the foot of the sink, while dishes waited, piled high, and read favorite storybook.

Every parent is faced with the paradoxical problem of completing the work of day-to-day life while carving out enough quality time for children. In fact, the work of raising children requires a task list never to be completed. Child-rearing is an all-encompassing enterprise: a joyous yet arduous assignment that never yields straight A’s. Nonetheless, “I’m too busy right now,” is uttered more and more frequently to the young ones that matter most in our lives. As adults, we often forget what it is to crave the love, support and warmth of a parent’s attention.

If it’s been a while since you’ve snapped a mental photo with your child, here are a few suggestions to open your virtual scrapbook.

Eat dinner together

Studies have long demonstrated that eating dinner as a family provides the solid foundation children need to develop the “people” skills and emotional strength they’ll need as adults. Eating dinner together will not only produce a family of strong conversationalists, it will also provide a secure place for children to talk about their days while learning to enjoy the company of family.

Dinnertime games can spice up your meal while creating lasting memories. The “island” game can quickly become a family favorite. One person at the dinner table asks, “What five things would you bring if you were stranded on a desert island?” Each person then explains what he or she would bring. Not only will this fuel the adventurous spirit in children, it will also help them understand what is truly important to them. After this, try one of the classics: “I spy.” At the beginning of the meal, each person in the family chooses an object to spy on. Throughout dinner, each family member gets five chances to guess the right answer. It’s a simple game, but it will foster communication and bring your family closer together.

Spend one-on-one time with each child

Whether it’s on the weekend, after school, or when you return home from work, schedule this time and keep the commitment as you would any other on your calendar: a planned activity is less likely be squeezed out of your schedule by your daily tasks. By setting and keeping a firm date and time with your child you will establish trust and cement the position of importance your little one holds in your life. But your one-on-one activity doesn’t have to be a big production. Rather, sitting down for 15 minutes of uninterrupted homework, walking the dog, or even dancing to the radio together is all you need to create a monumental memory of love.

Be spontaneous

While scheduling one-on-one time with children is crucial, it’s also wise to occasionally drop your to-do list and have some unscheduled fun with your children. If you are like me and revel in organizing and subsequently erasing errands from your list, take the challenge to embrace spontaneity: parents often forget that the work of children is play, not work. Fortunately, it’s easy to become more spontaneous. Building memories this way can begin with small changes, such as ending your phone call, stepping away from the sink or the computer, or turning off the television to color, read a book, enjoy a dessert or admire the sunset. The infamous Dr. Laura Schlessinger set a great example when she said, “Today I am going to get less done and have more fun!”

By implementing small changes one day at a time, the pages of your mental scrapbook will overflow with life’s little snapshots. Especially during the summer, we parents share the overwhelming opportunity to make the most of our time with our kids. According to Charles R. Swindoll, author of “The Strong Family,” “Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.” Good luck with your deposits. 

everyday opportunities for creating memories

After school or when you return home from work, don’t immediately move onto the next thing. Take a minute to sit down, cuddle, read a story and talk about the events of the day. Truly listen without judging or anticipating your child’s next words — or yours.

• Be a watcher. Wave goodbye as you watch your child leave. For older children, leave the light on at night and stay up until they come home.
• Learn to say “no” to extra activities that take a toll on precious family time.
• Color a page together.
• Make up stories about your child and tell him or her stories from your childhood. Write or tell a story together. Begin with one sentence and have your child complete the next. Trade back and forth.
• Allow him or her little luxuries. Eat chocolate cake for breakfast, paint each other’s fingernails or play catch in the backyard.
• Engage your child in your hobbies. Train for a triathlon or running race together.
• Build a fort, have a movie night or make yourselves a living room picnic.
• Camp inside your house. Pick a different room each month.
• Grab those lightsabers and play “Star Wars.”
• Play dress-up.
• Celebrate a special event.
• Every month, on the birthdates of each family member, cook that person his or her favorite meal.
• Designate time to turn off the iPods, cell phones, computers and electronic equipment.
• Cut yourselves a break when you don’t do things perfectly. Take it one day at a time.
• Keep in mind that there’s no way to be a perfect parent, but a million ways to be a good one.