Overcoming Sibling Rivalry Challenges

If you come from a family with brothers and/or sisters or you now have your own family with children, then you know all too well the many challenges faced with sibling rivalry.  While a little bit of competition is fine, sometimes sibling rivalry can get completely out of hand, actually leading to sisters and brothers becoming lifelong enemies.  Obviously, this level of sibling rivalry is not what any parent wants but be encouraged in that there are things you can do.

While there are many positive aspect of having siblings, there are also times when competition becomes an issue.  If you find that your children are battling one another instead of enjoying time together, you can help by providing the right type of direction.  For instance, as a parent, do not expect that your children will be the same, feel the same, think the same, and enjoy like activities.  Therefore, it is important first to view each of your children as individuals, finding the positive in each.

This attitude can be taught to your children too.  You can teach them that being themselves and all the differences is not only fine but also normal.  Showing your children the strengths they possess and allowing each to express his or her interests will certainly help.  A common cause of sibling rivalry is trying to outdo each other even if the kids have no interest in what the other is pursuing.  For this reason, show your kids where they are strong and that instead of fighting, they should appreciate the positive differences.

Another angle is to take time to talk to each of your children alone but also together.  This way, you can find out what issues they are facing and then as a team, find acceptable solutions.  It could be that your kids want to enjoy their friends without interruption from the other.  Finding this out would allow you to develop a strategy where both kids can have a set of friends alone and then at times, perhaps together.

Finally, teach your children about the importance of life and respect.  If you had a sister or brother and also faced sibling rivalry problems, then tell your kids about some things from your own experience and the ways you made changes.  Of course, kids need to know that fighting for silly reasons is not acceptable behavior but they also need to feel as if the parent cares about the problem and is willing to help.  Sibling rivalry will never go away but with a little bit of guidance, it can be calmed down.

See Also:

Teaching Manners
Manners Matter: Teaching Children Appropriate Public Behavior